Could someone review my Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic?
I've never written a fanfic before. Here's the the website: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6225058/1/Avatar_The_Legend_ContinuesYou can post your review on the site, or here. I don't care. I'm also posting the story below. It's a bit choppy. I'm thinking about translating it to a more script-like formatt to mimic the television show. Chapter I "Kuza…Kuza? Are you awake down there?" Imi spoke to the ceiling. His twin stirred on the bunk below."Yeah," Kuza yawned. "I suppose. What's wrong?""I can't sleep. I'm going for a walk." He crawled to the edge of his cot and slid off. Imi could see Kuza in the dark, squinting at him."Right," said Kuza. "I'll come with you.""I didn't ask you to come.""Maybe not, but you did wake me up."Imi smiled; Kuza smiled back. Together they tiptoed through their parents' room. Jin-Shu was snoring up a storm. Kuza hesitated before their mother's mirror, making faces in it until Imi grabbed his collar and dragged him to the door. Once outside, the twins exalted at their triumph and ran into the road, laughing and shouting, kicking up dirt. Then they quieted, because the inn was still close. They didn't want to bother the tenets.They walked along the road. Imi stayed close to Kuza. When the boy stumbled, he couldn't catch himself: Kuza was born without arms."Are you going to tell me why you can't sleep?" he asked."Dad was snoring," said Imi.Kuza laughed. "Dad Reviews On My snoring Solution always snores! You sleep fine.""I don't like what you're insinuating."Kuza butted his head against Imi's shoulder. It was the closet he got to hugging. "I'm not insinuating anything," he said. "You don't have to tell me, but I'm not stupid, Imi.""I guess," Imi mused. "But Dad does snore loud. I wonder how Mom does it. You think she sleeps under the bed with her fingers in her ears?""I think she sleeps in Ba Sing Se…with her fists in her ears!" The twins laughed. Imi draped an arm around his brother."Happy birthday, Kuza," he said."Happy birthday, Imi!""Happy birthday, my beautiful boys!" Amala kissed Imi before he could object. Kuza tried to get away when his turn came and tripped into the table. Jin-Shu caught him.Amala shook her head. "A kiss or a bruise, and my Kuza picks a bruise.""I'd pick a bruise, too," grumbled Imi."I'll give you one," whooped Jin-Shu. He still held Kuza. The boy squirmed wildly, his face red with exertion—but he was grinning."Let me go, Dad! Let me go!""Oh, okay." He dropped Kuza. Kuza laughed and joined his brother on the floor. Everybody ate in the twins' room: it was the only place the table fit.Jin-Shu and Amala sat and passed bowls of rice porridge. Breakfast had begun. Imi asked, his mouth full, where their presents were.Amala frowned. "Presents?" she said. She was feeding Kuza and paused with her chopsticks inches from his mouth. Kuza couldn't quite reach but tried like mad. "What presents? I didn't get them anything. Did you get them something, Jin-Shu?"Jin-Shu shrugged. "I thought you were getting them something. I didn't get them anything." He reached across the table and gave his own bite to Kuza."That's not funny!" cried Imi, but his brother was laughing."Settle down, Imi." Amala smiled. "We got you something."Jin-Shu handed his empty bowl to Imi. "Happy birthday," he said. "And if you're not going to use it right away, fill it up and give it to me."When breakfast was over, Jin-Shu and Amala said goodbye to their sons. They both worked for Tut, the old and surprisingly spry woman in charge of the inn. Usually the twins helped too, but it was their birthday."That doesn't mean Tut won't give you something to do if she sees you," Amala warned. "Best to stay away from her."The twins immediately invaded their parents' room. "I'm looking for our presents," declared one determined Imi. He was soon distracted by the broadswords hanging above Amala's shrine. The boy took them down and examined them while Kuza jumped on the bed."If I had a bed like this, I would never sleep!" he exclaimed. "I would bounce on it all day and all night.""Yep," said Imi. He wasn't really listening. He lunged forward, swords waving, and stubbed his toe on a chest of drawers. Kuza guffawed. Imi grabbed his foot, blushing furiously.Presently, the door began to open. Kuza froze. Imi reeled. He dove beneath the bed, swords and all.The old woman, Tut, entered
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