Which is a better opening paragraph?
Which makes you want to read further? Also, any suggestions for improving the better one?intended audience is 8-13 years oldOne brisk September morning in Chatsworth, California, the sun rose over the rooftops, bathing the houses with warm yellow light. Its rays slowly found their way through the plain white curtains of the smallest bedroom in a mid-sized peach house with a red tile roof, a house exactly like every other in the neighborhood. The light penetrated even this tribute to uniformity and landed on a bed in the center of the room. Only a pale pink comforter and a single white cotton pillow softened the bed and it seemed amazing that anyone could find rest in it. However, unappealing though it seemed, the bed was occupied. The girl sleeping in it was only about ten years old, and not more than average height, but her childish, slightly chubby body was too large for the puny mattress. Her tanned face contrasted pleasantly with the mass of curly red hair snoring Center that cascaded past the middle of her back. Her arm hung over the side of the low bed frame so that her fingers were mere inches away from grazing the light brown carpet. She was snoring softly, the rise and fall of her chest the only movement in the room.A loud shout from downstairs interrupted the peaceful scene.ORThe bright September sun rose over Morlan, California, chasing away the night. It quickly poked through the plain curtains of a plain bedroom in a plain house in a neighborhood where all the houses looked exactly the same: plain. The light worked its way past the plain walls, over the plain floor, and all the way to the middle of the room, where it landed on a plain bed. In fact, the only thing that wasn’t plain about the room was the tangled mess of curly red hair sitting atop the head of the girl in the bed. It was almost brighter than the sun’s rays, and contrasted drastically with the room’s beige and white color scheme. The girl looked about ten years old, and she was fast asleep.A harsh shout from downstairs interrupted her soft snoring.or this one?The bright September sun rose over the rooftops in Morlan, California, bathing the houses with warm yellow light. Its rays slowly found their way through the plain white curtains of the smallest bedroom in a mid-sized peach house with a red tile roof, a house exactly like every other in the neighborhood. It landed on a small bed in the center of the room. The bed looked uncomfortable: it was only softened by a thin blanket and a single white cotton pillow. Still, it was occupied. The girl sleeping in it was only about ten years old, and not more than average height, but her tanned, slightly chubby body was too large for the puny mattress. Her arm hung over the side of the low bed frame so that her fingers were mere inches away from grazing the light brown carpet. Her face was hidden by a mess of curly red hair, which moved a little every time she snored.A loud shout from downstairs interrupted the peaceful scene.
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