Why does my wife want me to go on Jerry Springer?
This is no joke -- she has been online for two days trying to get me on some kind of talk show like Springer or Dr Phil. She claims I am a caveman and have no respect for her and my 'behaviour' is a cry for help or some such crap. I don't know what her problem is -- yeah, I quit my P.O.S. job and didn't tell her for three weeks but the way I see it I can put more food on the table hunt'n and fishing How To Quit snoring than I could by working at a two-bit job like cleaning cess pools or exterminating critters. She's always on my back about my toenails snagging the carpet and ripping up the sheets and she hates it when I fart in public and she REALLY hates it when I belch "check please" when we're at a restaurant. She likes me in bed, though -- but I have to admit that lately she's been complaining that when I 'pull-out' I make a mess all over the head board, sheets, her hair, etc. Well, how can I help THAT?? And I know I snore -- in fact, she sleeps out in the truck some nights cause she 'claims' it's the only way she can get any rest. Funny how she never complained about me smoking two packs a day and drinking twenty beers BEFORE we got married -- now it's like some sort of crime if I pass out on the sofa. What do y'all make of all this? If she manages to get me on a talk show should I go? Will they pay me?
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